Baby Bello Mushies Smell Bad

weird search terms

In my previous career, I was a business manager. Today, I am a content writer who takes your desired keywords and delightfully weaves them into thoughtful, comprehensive and relevant Internet content. While my current career has me shutting down the computer at the end of my workday, I used to find some diversion and relaxation after a stressful day at the office by blogging.

I understand how important a wired, comprehensive marketing campaign can be to improving brand awareness, influencing influencers, and driving your business revenue through the roof. Creating coordinated blog posts, Pinterest pins, tweets on Twitter and posts on Facebook with social media savvy gives you an edge over the competition.

Moreover, I understand how amusing it can be to read the wide array of weird search engine phrases that lead to a blog. Yet, if those weird searches become commonplace, it may be time to overhaul your digital strategy, examine your blog,  and get down to basics such as embracing key phrases that may leave you cringing.

“Pink Pony Man

Unless you market white elephant gift items, this search phrase would be odd. If it happens once, it is hilarious material for cocktail conversation. If the phrase continues to trend as the number one driver to your site, it is a problem.

“Red Rope Licorice Dispenser Wayne’s World

Becoming familiar with an organic search traffic report from a favorite analytics program will help you drill down to the core of the problem. These reports provide you with the keywords people searched for that resulted in traffic to your site (generally from Bing or Google) that comes from sources that do not use advertising dollars.

“Golden Dog of Love”

Looking at traffic for weird phrases can be very illuminating. You may be unaware of how search engines are reading your blog posts or interpreting links to tweets or pins. This will help you streamline your content to ensure that it matches your marketing efforts. Moreover, you can compare traffic as your keyword rankings change to determine any correlation. You can compare and contrast keyword rankings and keyword traffic for an inclusive understanding of your SEO results.

“A Moroccan, a Cat and my Fat Ass”

This leads me to recount a conversation I had with a plumbing company dispatcher when my kitchen sink backed up:

Dispatcher:  “A service technician is on the way. Would you mind telling us how you found our company?”

Me: “Sure, I found you on Google.”

Dispatcher: “What phrase did you use to search on the Internet?”

Me: “Cheap plumber East Podunk.”

Dispatcher: “(insert awkward silence) “Uuuh, thanks.”

Of course, you do not want customers to view your business as cheap; however, while reviewing organic search traffic, it may serve a crucial purpose to consider the realistic phrases people use on search engines. A professional freelance writer will help you turn those phrases into relevant, yet complimentary, content tailored to drive real customers to your site.

Wendy H used only actual weird search phrases from her blog for this article, and she would be blissfully delighted to own an authentic red rope licorice dispenser from Wayne’s World, although such an item has never been mentioned on her site.


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