Never Work Again!

Freelance writers are an interesting bunch. Very few people enjoy going through the job application process and fewer still enjoy rejection. Many writers must be masochistic by nature; they have to be to handle the constant barrage of NO that occurs as they hone their craft.

Those new to the world of freelance writing may not understand the steps to get the most rejections possible. If you have experienced a few too many yeses, consider these tips for how to get even more rejections—follow the tips and you may never work again!

  • Ignore the application instructions – Creativity is key! If the job asks you to attach a resume, sending an essay explaining your skills is a great option. Does the job want you to send a 500-word blog post for a sample? That Twilight fan fiction you wrote will be a much better option. Find as many “rules” to break as possible, because the best writers are rebels!
  • Show off your ability to relate to youth – Crafting your cover letter using acronyms and text speak is a great way to show that you can connect with a young, hip audience. If you really want to impress, consider adding a few emoticons. 🙂
  • Make a personal connection – Using your personal blog as a writing portfolio allows potential clients to get a good look at who you really are down deep. You will seem like a much more interesting candidate when the client reads about your last breakup or finds out your political leanings.
  • Stay sexy – If you are able to attach a photo to your portfolio, make it sexy and provocative. If you’re a woman, more cleavage is important while guys should consider posing topless. Photos taken in the mirror with the iPhone visible are the best.
  • Point out a few faults – If you have the client’s website available make sure and point out some spelling errors and formatting mistakes. And if you think that the posted job sounds a bit odd, or it doesn’t sit right with you, speak up. The first contact you make with a client is obviously the right time to make these statements.

As you can see, getting additional rejections is easier than you may think. If you keep it up perhaps you’ll never work again. Then you can spend all day working on that fan fiction–I hear 50 Shades of Grey fanfic is especially hot right now.

Tracy S is a freelance writer available on WriterAccess, a marketplace where clients and expert writers connect for assignments.


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