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Laying a Strong Foundation: Building positive relationships with Students

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Created by Jessica B, WriterAccess talent

Jessica B
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Joined 10/16/2011
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Jessica is an experienced freelance writer who helps customers develop high quality content for their websites, blogs, and marketing materials. She is certified in inbound marketing and has a background in psychology. She uses her expertise to help customers carefully...

The relationship between a student and teacher can impact nearly every aspect of a student’s learning experience, from how engaged they are in the classroom to their dropout rates. As an educator, you want to build positive relationships with your students to nurture their growth and learning experiences, which can feel overwhelming when faced with a new classroom of students.

Let’s explore a few concrete steps you can take to improve your relationship with everyone in your class.

Focus on students as individuals

You want to begin by focusing on your students as individuals. Learn their names correctly as quickly as possible. If you have unfamiliar names, or names with different pronunciations, learn which one they prefer. When students note that they prefer a nickname or to go by a middle name, write down a quick reminder in your attendance book until you have mastered their name mastered. 

Once you know your students’ names, greet them personally as they enter your classroom and say goodbye at dismissal. This simple step can help students feel seen and as though you pay attention to them personally during your class time.

To help you see your students as individuals, get to know them on a 1 to 1 basis. Try to spend each day or week working with each child individually. Working with them will allow you to see their strengths and weaknesses. Resist the temptation to skip over those who grasp the material quickly or tend not to put in a strong effort. 

As you spend this time with each student, you will also get to know their interests and passions. You might have some students who play sports while others perform in the school play. Let your class know that you care about their outside interests and see them as an entire person. You might find creative ways to incorporate interests into your classroom or to allow students to integrate external material into their projects. 

Don’t be afraid to open up

Part of building this relationship with students means you cannot be afraid to open up a bit about yourself. While you must maintain professional boundaries, you can let students know if you share their passion for the World Cup or chess. Consider incorporating relevant or humorous stories from your time spent studying abroad or from your own time as a student as well. 

These conversations give students a chance to see you as a whole person. Students should feel more comfortable approaching you about a common interest. Appropriate humor can also help create a positive classroom atmosphere, reducing stress for everyone present.

Keep the ratio of 5:1 in mind

The ratio of 5:1 states that for every negative interaction you have with someone, you want to aim for five positive interactions to maintain a good relationship. This ratio plays a vital role when faced with more challenging students. A student who tends to goof around during class or doesn’t engage appropriately, it’s easy to become short-tempered. Unfortunately, those negative interactions can accumulate and hinder the growth of a positive relationship.

Find ways to increase these positive interactions. It might be in small ways, such as praising a student’s creativity in applicable settings or occasionally laughing with a joke that fits that moment. 

You want to find opportunities to provide balanced, constructive feedback for your students to help them continue to grow, but you also want them to feel psychologically ‘safe’ with you. For any person, child or adult, feeling perpetually criticized can make it hard to motivate themselves to keep trying. Finding opportunities to praise students’ efforts while helping them continue to stretch further is vital for building a long-term bond with that individual.

Raise the bar, but offer scaffolding

Make sure your students can succeed by making sure they know it as well. Provide them with a high bar that can help them feel the power of reaching new heights, but also offer them the scaffolding that keeps that bar within reach. Depending on your students’ ages and capabilities, this support might take various formats.

For example, you might help students understand expectations by showing them examples of exemplary work. You can offer personalized feedback for students throughout a project so that their final project reaches your standards. You might break longer projects into pieces, particularly for students new to large projects. A research paper may have a due date for an outline, a first draft, and a final draft. Give students time to meet with you and ask questions when they receive feedback after each due date so they understand how to make corrections before moving forward. 

Encouraging students to reach new heights and letting them know that you genuinely think they can achieve those standards can help give them a tremendous sense of accomplishment and confidence in themselves and their abilities. With this type of scaffolding, you create a positive, encouraging atmosphere where your students have what they need to succeed.

Make a difference for students with positive relationships

Building and nurturing a positive relationship with your students can have a lasting impact on their academic success. Following these guidelines can help you find new ways to engage with your classroom and build an environment that encourages learning. See which ones you can start incorporating into your classroom.

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