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Caveman Marketing Advice from Paleo Patty

caveman marketing

Dear Paleo Patty,

I need a little advice about marketing my cave-based business.

I am proud to say that my husband is one of the top hunters in the tribe, so he is always hauling a ton of food home. Just last week, he brought home a woolly mammoth and three mastodons, so we now have enough food to last through the next two ice ages.

But as all evolved consumers know, you can’t feed a family on meat alone – you have to convert your resources into something people want to buy if you want to make ends meet. To help our family reach their full earning potential, I’ve decided to start making and selling products from my husband’s successful spear- and rock-throwing career.

I’m opening up a pterodactyl wings place, featuring my own cave-made fermented berry dipping sauce. I’ve also developed a fur and feather clothing line, and have new line of jewelry made of saber tooth tiger teeth that’s to die for – literally (RIP Uncle Ugh). I believe in creating a sustainable, environmentally friendly line of goods that Homo sapiens want to own.

My biggest problem is marketing these lines. My current customer base is a bunch of local Neanderthals that, while they can eat their weight in raw antelope meat, wouldn’t know style or good taste if it hit them with a club. A new subdivision has cropped up in the caves at the top of the hill, though, and I notice a lot of well-to-do Cro-Magnon families are moving in. They all have that high forehead and upright posture that’s just made for my clothing line and they certainly have enough beads and shiny trinkets to trade.

My question is – how do I catch the attention of interested buyers? A lot of people are setting up boutique meat stores outside their caves, so there is a lot of competition for the Cro-Magnon market out there. I’ve tried cave paintings and dancing by the fire under the light of a meteor, but nothing seems to be helping.


Wiley Wanda’s Woolly Goods

Dear Wanda,

Thank you for your question. We appreciate the time and effort it must have taken to carve such a lengthy letter onto this gigantic bolder and roll it to our editor’s door. Please feel free to just stop into our office for a chat next time.

It’s time to read the writing on the wall – cave painting is ancient news when it comes to modern marketing. We’d like to suggest that you try content marketing. Research shows that content marketing rolls in conversion rates six times higher than other methods, such as cave paintings and fireside dances.

Consider posting a blog, for example, to build your brand. Websites and caves with blog content have 434 percent more search indexed-pages than do those that do not publish blogs. Furthermore, small businesses like yours that have blogs get 126 percent more lead growth than do organizations without blogs. So while writing a blog is difficult (mainly because we’re cavemen and human language hasn’t been developed yet), it is worthwhile.

Encourage your satisfied customers to recommend your food, fashion and jewelry lines on their blog boulders.  After reading recommendations on a blog, more than 60 percent of consumers make a purchase.

Once you discover the fire of content marketing, you will be amazed at how quickly your customer base will evolve. Remember, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel to enjoy a successful marketing campaign, but using blogs and other advanced technology can help your company build a solid foundation throughout the entire Stone Age.

For more information about content marketing that reaches beyond the cave, reach out to content marketing writers at WriterAccess.


Lynn H. has been a professional writer, providing exceptional content online and offline, for 20 years. In that time, she has penned thousands of articles for doctors, universities, researchers, small businesses, nursing organizations, sole proprietors and more. Lynn serves as webmaster, content curator, and editorial consultant to three cities in Illinois, a municipal library, police and fire departments, a local Habitat for Humanity, several historical societies and community groups. You can always count on Lynn to deliver professional, polished content that is relative to your industry.

Guest Author

By WriterAccess

Freelancer Lynn H

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