Writer Rant: 10 Ways Being a Freelance Website Writer is Like Being a Zombie

Posted on April 18, 2014 by Tracy S

Sometimes being a freelance website writer is a lot of fun, such as when I can sleep in on a rainy Monday morning when all my friends are sitting in the brutal Atlanta traffic. However, there are negatives too. In fact, while I was talking about my job to my fiancé, I realized—there are days that I feel more like one of the walking dead than like a human.

While I’ll try to avoid “turning” and will stick with my life as a writer, allow me to share 10 ways that being a writer is like being a zombie.

  • Writers are Pasty White – Just like a zombie, writers don’t get a lot of sun. With the glow of a monitor shining in our face, we can easily be mistaken for one of the walking dead.
  • Zombie and Writers Both Pick Brains – Zombies want to capture you and physically pick your brain (and eat it.) Writers want to pick your brain for advice about their next book or blog post.
  • Writers Groan—A Lot – Working with difficult clients, short deadlines and on tricky topics all make a writer moan and groan—just like an angry zombie. Grrr… Argh!
  • We Wander Aimlessly – As a writer, sometimes I start searching for a topic online and before I know it, I have spent 3 hours reading pages on Wikipedia. Just as zombies wander around the landscape, we wander on the Internet.
  • Writers Travel in Packs – Where you find one writer, you will probably find others. It’s important for writers to connect with others who understand the difficulties they face in everyday life. Don’t make the mistake of turning your back on one writer (or zombie)—there are more hiding in the shadows.
  • We Have No Fashion Sense – Right now I am wearing a green hooded sweatshirt, “yoga” pants (okay, it’s really pajama bottoms), socks with cats on them, and running shoes. On a workday, my fashion sense is about on par with a cast member of The Walking Dead—and not the hottie with the crossbow.
  • Writers and Zombies Both Bite – Make us mad and us writers will strike back! While we may not use our teeth, we do have ways of showing our anger.
  • It Sounds More Glamorous Than It Is – Being a zombie sounds more fun than it actually is—the same is true for writers. It’s hard work and a lot of aggravation.
  • It’s in Your Blood – Writers and zombies often both have no choice over what they are. Writing is in my blood.
  • A Crossbow Can Take Us Down – Zombies are not immortal and neither are we. We both have to avoid that shot to the head.

Tracy S is a freelance writer and blogger who is writing her first book. When she’s not glued to the keyboard she has her eyes glued to a sci-fi book, her mind glued on her pool game or has glue on her hands while working on a home improvement project.


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