Maybe it’s because I’m single, yet again, for Valentine’s Day. Maybe the taste of spring time we experienced this week caused the birds and the bees to stir. Whatever the reason, I found myself wondering what a writer has to offer in a relationship that, say, a waitress or a window cleaner does not. Consider these 10 reasons why dating a writer, such as the best ghostwriter or web content creator, would be snazzy—besides the fact that a writer is always ‘right.’
1. Writers are quite spontaneous as a result of writing about so many different topics on the reg. Unfortunately, this also means writers tend to be a disaster when it comes to making plans and sticking to them since they are as scatterbrained as a scrambled egg.
2. Writers are flexible as they keep an open schedule. Want to plan an impromptu vacation to the beach or romantic weekend in the mountains? No problem. A writer can chip away at articles from any location, at any time of day or night. On the flip side, this also means a writer will most likely spend most of a romantic vacation time working.
3. Writers are dreamers. Every writer dreams of lofty goals like being a best selling author or the next billionaire based on their brilliance. The downside is that 99.9999999 percent of the dreamers who write will never actually realize their red carpet dreams.
4. Writers are great storytellers. This could also be an issue, since writers lie for a living. After all, how many writers are also plumbers, teachers, environmental consultants, web programmers, gym rats, and so on, while they pretend to be one when working as the best ghostwriter?
5. If you date a writer, you stand a good chance of getting featured as a character in your significant other’s upcoming story. Most people would love to be immortalized in a novel. Got a lot of skeletons in your closet? You may want to take a rain check on dating a writer, especially if you ever plan to run for public office.
6. When you date a writer, you will learn what it means to live simply. You’ll discover first hand what it means to be a starving artist as you will quickly be supporting one.
7. As part of their job requirements, most writers must be alone to be able to get any work finished successfully. If you are tired of clingy mates, foster a relationship with a writer and you’ll get plenty of alone time.
8. Writers know a lot of interesting and revolutionary people. Unfortunately, for many writers, these people are imaginary, or writers have never actually met these people in person, but rather via the Internet or through telephone interviews.
9. A writer loves to be funny. Of course, the humor of writers often involves metaphors, similes, cliches, and onomatopoeia. Also writers enjoy looking for misspellings and missuses of words everywhere they go, so be prepared for an onslaught of gleaming grammar gamboling.
10. Writers have issues. Oh, yes, we are talking about those ever present personal problems that seemingly give writers plenty of fodder for writing. However, we are also talking about the stacks and dusty stacks of issues of newspapers and magazines writers tend to accumulate. Writers subscribe to dozens of publications to keep track of news, for research purposes, and to find writing opportunities. So don’t be surprised if you are dating a writer who uses stacks of The New York Times as seating.
So after creating this list, I have realized why dating a writer may not be all its cut out to be. Lollipops that come with dating a writer have a bitter center. Maybe this helps to explain why I, along with millions of other writers who are as single as a monk, are free from dating responsibilities. At least it can play out as a grand excuse. If you are a single writer, or you are dating a writer, please leave a comment with your experiences with gushy, mushy love or lack thereof.
Miranda B is a freelance writer available on WriterAccess, a marketplace where clients and expert writers connect for assignments.